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Friday, May 28, 2010

Thank you....

For all of you that have been so wonderful with your love and support....THANK YOU!

It's hard, it's painful, it's not even my baby and it hurts so much, I can't even imagine what my sister is going through. Nights are worse. She wakes constantly and goes to pat her tummy and then remembers all over again that it's dead....she's started taking sleeping pills just so she only has to wake up once and remember.

Yesterday was the worst day so far I think, she was still processing learning the day before that the baby's heart had stopped and then suddenly she had to deal with getting it taken out. She isn't miscarrying, it's not passing, it's just floating away inside. I saw the ultrasound...it's the most perfect looking baby :-(

Her midwife called a ton of doctors in the area and none of them would take her to do the surgery to have it taken out. They said she was too far along and she needed to go to the experts at taking out bigger babies, Planned Parenthood.

Knowing she'd have to sit in a room waiting to have her baby taken out, surrounded by other pregnant women that more than likely were there because they didn't want theirs when she so desperately wanted hers was killing her.

We were literally on the phones (house, and both cells) for hours, calling everyone we knew that might be able to persuade someone or recommend someone.

We finally gave up and were about to walk out the door to go to her appointment at PP and a doctor in town called back herself and said she would see her, take care of her, and do the procedure herself.

It was a huge answer to prayer. As hard as it was sitting in a waiting room with other pregnant women at the Ob/gyn office, it was still a comfort to her to see the babies still growing, still wanted.

They did another ultrasound and she got to keep a picture. Seriously, the cutest profile.

Her appointment for the procedure is on Tuesday....she's doing really well considering. Having the time to process this a bit more instead of having to go in yesterday has made a huge difference, it was just so much pressure having it be rushed.

We went to Lowe's today and I bought her a tree for her birthday, we postponed her b'day because she was so sick from morning sickness. It was nice to get out of the house and get our minds off things but now we are wiped out.

Bum deal, she still has morning sickness and a sore chest. Her body doesn't know the baby isn't alive anymore. :-(

Prayers are appreciated so much. Seriously.

Thank you.

6 comments:

tess said...

wow that must be tough, tougher than I can ever imagine. You guys seem to be staying strong despite this hardship. I hope the procedure goes well

woolandchocolate said...

My heart is breaking for you guys. I am sitting here crying and wishing I could do something even though I know there is nothing that can help. May God grant Shanti peace and comfort through this terrible time. Hugs.

:: Lavender's Green :: said...

I am so, so sorry for your sister's loss. I can't even begin to imagine the grief she must be feeling. I hope that as time goes by she able to find peace.

I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

x Jasmine

Gypsy with a Camera said...

Sorry for the delay. How heart is breaking for your sister and even though I'm a total stranger she and her family are in no doubt my prayers. :(

I had relatives who were trying and had a hard time. They adopted a beautiful little girl from South America and weeks after finalizing her adoption found out they were carrying. I hope your sister heals well :)

Krystal said...

wow this is heartbreaking. i hope for quick emotional healing :(

scatterheart said...

Oh Kendra, I am in tears reading this. My heart absolutely aches for your sister. I cant imagine or begin to understand the pain she is in. Please send her all of my love and prayers and know that i think of her often and hope that she continues to find her way though this.