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This past weekend my father got a hotel room right on the beach for my mother's 60th b'day
Without her knowing we managed to plan on all us kids and her parents to be waiting in their room when they arrived. We also managed to get it worked out for her to have a 3 day weekend from work, her bosses were in on it and she never had a clue!!!
We were all so nervous that one of us would blurt out something that would give it away but we did it...without a hitch...pulled the whole thing and and surprised the buttons out of her!!!
It was a lovely weekend and I have tons of pics, so hard to know when to stop.
Did you all have a lovely weekend as well?
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On a completely separate and personally pathetic note...
I found out today that my on going health issues are quite likely because of past water damage in our apartment.
It has been recommended by my doctor that we move. I have spent most of the day either crying or sleeping. I keep vacillating between despair over the loss of the home we love so much and shame for being so attached to something so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. No one has died, no one has cancer, these are things to be sorrowful over, not something inanimate, unliving, temporal. Sigh. I wallow in self pity one moment then despise myself the next for being so weak. It's just wood and nails and mold :-( What makes it our home is what we have filled it with, yes, the stuff that expresses my taste but more than that... the love, the music, the life WE live IN it, not the life IT has...because it doesn't have anything that isn't already us.
I don't know...so many things running through my head. None of this is helped by finding out I have new restrictions to my diet. (Jasmine...I know you feel my pain!!!!!!) I am being a big baby about it, and as I said, I'm quite ashamed. But I only found out this morning so give me some time and let me process it.
Also, those of you that are inclined to pray....please do so, to find an apartment that is within our price range, in this neighborhood (as a one car family I bike to work so being close to where I teach is rather a necessity) but a place new enough to not have a mold problem, with a washer and dryer and heating and AC, a garage and hard wood floors (not just for the aesthetics but because it's easier on my allergies) will be nothing short of a miracle.
We live in an older neighborhood, which we love, but with the age comes the mold. Also AC isn't as likely because of the older buildings and with it getting to 100 degrees for so much of the year, it's also kind of a necessity for someone with a thyroid problem that doesn't regulate body temperature.
It will literally take an act of God to be able to find all of these things together.
Also, please pray that this is the answer to the health issues. I admit to a certain amount of fear that we uproot ourselves, go through all the mess of moving and have it make no difference. Sigh. So many what ifs. It's really pathetic how untrusting I am, how fearful and worrisome I am. It's ugly and I hate it. But I can't seem to stop.
I don't like me very much right now.
I want to be gracious and graceful, not in a physical way (I'm too klutzy) but as in "full of grace". Patient, wise, unruffled, strong, peaceful, calm...the list could go on for days, I want to be these things, yet I seem to be the antithesis of all of them right now. Ew. Instead I'm freaking out, tail spinning, worrying, worrying, worrying. I'm a little disgusted, to be perfectly honest.
Ew. I need fixing.
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Lovies and limeade,
-K
7 comments:
That's really sweet what your dad and siblings did for your mom's birthday. Sounds like you had a wonderful time at the beach. :)
Also sometimes you just need time to process everything, especially changes that might be beyond your control. Although you might not have the physical home, you'll have all the memories. Corny I know. But maybe something good will come out of this, like you'll find a nicer apartment in your location and price range. Everything will work out.
(I think that's some advice I should be giving to myself too. :P)
I'm sorry that you have to move! That is quite an ordeal and I can understand why you're upset. Finding a place you truly feel at home in and like you've made it yours is hard to leave, especially since finding a new home and uprooting yourself is challenging. I also hope you feel better.
That must have been fun!!! You and hubby are adorable! I am keeping my fingers crossed you find an apartment with AC!
Stephanie, I'm scared because we already have "the nicer apartment in our price range". Everyone we know is always shocked at how amazing our apartment is for the price. Blah blah blah. So tired of being whiny, sadly, I don't think it's going to stop anytime soon. ;-)
Tess, thank you my dear! You are such a sweet heart, hopefully all of this will lead to me feeling better. It just feels worse in the mean time....but most things beneficial are uncomfortable to begin with.
Christijolu, thank you so much! I grew up without AC and I keep wondering when I got so soft...then I realize, oh yeah, as a kid I spent the summer in the pool. Right. I don't have that option now. ;-) Living in water does make 100 degrees not so bad. :-)
Congratulations on managing to pull off such an amazing weekend for your Mum! I bet she had such a great time! :D LOVE the photos.
I know exactly how you're feeling right now. I remember when my doctor told me my health problems (allergies, thyroids etc - seriously, are you my twin?!) were due to mosquito spraying in my area as a kid. My heart dropped. I felt that it was so unfair that I have been sick for most of my life thanks to something I couldn't help. And then came the, "How come no one else is sick?!" thoughts (pretty childish, I know). And then I was hopeful because my doctor put me on some medication that he said could help me. And now, finally, I'm excited because for the first time in years I can eat some of the food I was previously 'allergic' too. And I can use normal toothpaste and use proper soap (don't worry, I wasn't stinky - I used soap-free body wash).
It's interesting that we go through a grieving process over something "trivial" - and I don't use that word lightly because I know that losing your dream home isn't trivial at all. I will pray for you and hopefully you will find a place you love (or will grow to love) even more than where you are living right now. And I'll pray that you get better quickly :D
Oh, and also, I would LOVE to be penpals with you! :D I don't think you would disappoint me at all. Paper Sky sounds like an awesome stationery store. I seriously don't make enough money to fund my obsession (I tend to hoarde my stuff too, haha).
Email me (real.street7@gmail.com)!
x Jasmine
PS. I apologise if this comment is a bit on the rambling side :)
Don't apologize! I LOVE long comments!
You can eat stuff you couldn't before!?!?!? I am so excited to hear that and I cling to the hope that this will not be forever!
Don't you hate that weird limbo of questioning self-pity, "why is it just me and not everyone else" and convicting shame, "not that I wish ill on others!!!!!"
Sigh, I feel like anything that comes out of my mouth these days has to have a disclaimer on it. Ie: "I mean, it's not cancer, I know it could be worse....." Ick.
To find the fine line between honesty without going into whining. It's tough, I don't want to be fake and say, "everything is fine" when it's not, but I don't want to be that person that is constantly talking about health issues. What to do?
I'm so sorry you understand all of this, as I do not wish it upon you...but I will admit it is comforting knowing you're there on the other side of the planet dealing with some of the same things. Twinsies? Thyroid Twinsies? We should have BFF Thyroid necklaces made!!! ;-D AAHAHAHAH! Creeeepy.
Pen pals. I'm thinking about it. I WANT to!!! I'm just so bad at it. I end up thinking, "I should write that person....but I think I will sleep instead." :-( Dang it, I need to email you about the sour dough too! See??? Flaky.
Do you even know when I write back to your comments? I wonder if you'll get this.
(how do you like THIS for a long comment?)
I have only recently realised that some people reply to blog comments within the comment section, so now I double back and check just in case - and I'm glad I did!
I laughed at your suggestion of BFF Thyroid necklaces! Especially since just the other week I read about a guy who had an engagement ring made out of the bone in the lower half of his leg that he had amputated due too infection. My response was pretty much this face :/ And then I read that some people get their gall/kidney stones made into pearls and yeah ... yuck.
I wrote back to your email! We should write, even if it's sporadic! It'll be fun! Almost as much fun as all the exclamation marks I seem to be using! (!!!)
x Jasmine
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